A Day in the Life of Pepper Potts
by anubislover
Summary: Just a silly schedule written depicting a typical day in Pepper's life since the Avengers moved into the tower. That poor woman... Pepperony, mild Clintasha, Thor/Jane, and maybe one-sided Steve/Pepper if you really squint, but can also be seen as good friendship.


So, today I went to a convention dressed as Pepper Potts and my friend Katie went as Tony Stark. For fun, I made some documents to carry around in my binder, including a contract signing Stark Industries over to me and a rather humorous "To-Do List" for Tony. I also wrote this, which started off as just a general schedule, but turned into something resembling an _Avengers_ fanfic. So I thought I'd post it, because Katie liked it and I certainly enjoyed writing it. Let me know what you think!

Disclaimer: Well, since Tony signed the contract, I guess I own Stark Industries. But I don't own the Avengers yet.

A Day in the Life of Pepper Potts

6:30 am. Get up.

6:32 am. Shower.

6:50 am. Get dressed.

7:00 am. Wake Tony from his drunken stupor.

7:05 am. Make coffee (decaf for Bruce, regular for everyone else) and eat breakfast with team. Ignore Tony's pained groans.

7:30 am. Make hangover cure after feeling Tony has sufficiently suffered.

7:35 am. Thank Steve for cooking and doing the dishes. (He cooks AND cleans! I had no idea such a man existed!)

7:45 am. Deliver clothes of the floozy Tony banged last night to dry-cleaner.

7:50 am. Check E-mail.

8:00 am. Call Board of Directors to schedule meeting for 1:30 pm about quarterly profits.

8:05 am. Pick up dry-cleaning of floozy.

8:10 am. Call a taxi and take out trash. If met with difficulty, get assistance from Natasha.

8:12 am. Order myself something nice on Tony's credit card in retaliation for floozy.

8:17 am. Get offer from Clint to make Tony pay for floozy. Consider offer, but reluctantly turn it down. Smile as Clint assures the offer will always be on the table should I need it. (What a sweet guy. Natasha is so lucky.)

8:20 am. Check E-mail.

8:25 am. Have Bruce make Tony sign order forms for new Iron Man armor parts.

8:35 am. Tell JARVIS to remind Tony about meeting with Board of Directors.

8:40 am. Call Fury, convince him not to shoot Tony for the screen saver incident. (Where did Tony even get those pictures?)

9:00 am. Work with JARVIS in attempt to find working record player for Steve online. Poor guy still doesn't understand mp3s and CDs.

9:20 am. Find and order record player and several records from local antique store.

9:30 am. Check E-mail.

9:35 am. Tell JARVIS to tell Tony to quit fiddling around with his armor and run his damn company.

9:38 am. Have JARVIS schedule press conference for 11:30 am to downplay Tony's latest scandal.

9:40 am. Have JARVIS order new coffee mugs to replace the ones Thor, Clint and Bruce broke.

9:45 am. Write up new contracts for science division and make it clear that just because Tony does it doesn't mean they can intentionally blow things up in the lab.

10:30 am. Attend shareholder meeting. Deal with sexist remarks from old bastards by secretly texting Natasha and Agent Hill questioning possibility of acquiring gags similar to one used on Loki. They say they'll look into it.

11:30 am. Press conference. Explain for 20 minutes that Tony did not in fact knock over Justin Hammer's new billboard on purpose and had used it as a weapon against the giant slime monster only because it was the closest thing in sight and after all Tony did put it back once the fight was over. Sure it now smells like sewage and has more than a few dents but Tony certainly didn't do it on purpose. Endure 40 minutes of questions about the Avengers and mine personal lives.

12:30 pm. Eat lunch with team, AKA baby-sit the Avengers and make sure they're getting proper nutrition. (Note to self: remind Steve that the oven does not need to be lit like a gas stove, Thor that he needs to use silver wear, Clint that arrows are not all-purpose eating utensils, Tony that he actually needs to eat and not just live on coffee and protein shakes, and Natasha that no one has poisoned her food so please stop looking at it suspiciously and just eat it. Bruce is the only one without lunchtime problems.)

1:10 pm. Check E-mail.

1:15 pm. Call Happy and tell him to pick me and Tony up from tower.

1:17 pm. Force Tony out of his workshop with the help of Bruce.

1:20 pm. Get into argument with Tony about floozy.

1:25 pm. Make out with Tony in car.

1:45 pm. Arrive late to meeting, hope my hair is ok.

1:46 pm. Apologize for lateness, feel grateful that Tony took the blame without making embarrassing implications. (Note to self: reward with donuts.)

1:50 pm. Start meeting by showing Board how high our profits have gotten.

1:59 pm. Receive praise from majority of the Board.

2:02 pm. Get insulted by senior board member who implies that Tony has been the one calling all the shots, not me.

2:15 pm. Attempt damage control after Tony implies Board leader is wearing a toupee; spend rest of meeting subtly attempt to figure out if he is.

2:40 pm. Leave meeting. Thank Tony for standing up for me, receive apology for floozy and a promise it won't happen again. Accept apology.

2:45 pm. Buy donuts for Tony. Get fluttery feeling over how ridiculously happy he is.

3:00 pm. Arrive back at tower.

3:05 pm. Check E-mail.

3:10 pm. Sign for record player delivery.

3:15 pm. Give player to Steve, congratulate self over how genuinely excited he is.

3:20 pm. Take break and listen to records with Steve and Bruce while Steve tells us about the various artists he listened to in his day. (Note to self: find more items from his era. His room is in serious need of decorations and personal items. Spartan doesn't even cut it.)

3:50 pm. Work on schedule for upcoming Stark Expo, attempt to figure out what other companies to feature. (HammerTech will not be one of them.)

4:20 pm. Briefly interrupted by Thor requesting later help in finding an acceptable gift for Jane's birthday. Promise we will go shopping as soon as I finish work at 5:00 pm.

4:22 pm. Continue scheduling. Accept coffee from Clint and exchange conspiratol smiles as Tony walks into the room.

4:23 pm. Tony questions if we're plotting against him. Clint informs him "not yet."

4:52 pm. Save scheduling documents.

4:55 pm. Check E-mail.

5:00 pm. Tell Thor I've finished work.

5:01 pm. Receive urgent call from research division about some of the robots going haywire and attacking the scientists.

5:10 pm. Inform team, tell Tony to stay safe.

5:12 pm: Attempt to keep scientists calm over the phone until the Avengers get there.

5:15 pm. Hear crash. Scientist no longer responds to my frantic questioning. Signal goes out.

5:16 pm. Pace floor and try not to panic.

5:18 pm. Am assured by JARVIS that Tony is ok, none of the scientists were seriously harmed, and informs me that fiasco was orchestrated by HammerTech as revenge for the billboard incident. JARVIS assures me the team will handle it.

5:45 pm. The team returns triumphant, with Tony and Clint nearly falling over laughing. Steve informs me that they went to HammerTech and Thor smashed all of Hammer's latest prototypes with his hammer yelling, "THOU SHALL NOT DISRUPT THE LADY POTTS JUST AS HER WORK DAY HAS FINALLY ENDED!"

5:46 pm. Hug Thor and promise we'll shop after dinner.

5:49 pm. Order pizza.

6:07 pm. Pay delivery boy.

6:10 pm. Gorge self on pizza. (I've have had too stressful a day to worry about calories.)

6:30 pm. Take Thor to mall, convince him that a shawarma stand is not an appropriate gift.

6:45 pm. Thor locates a simple but very pretty necklace with a little tree pendant. (He assures me Jane will understand what it means, so I don't argue.)

6:50 pm. Have necklace gift-wrapped.

6:52 pm. Receive bone-crushing hug as thanks from Thor. (I'm not sure if I should take this as encouragement to help him more or a warning to never do it again.)

6:55 pm. Stop at department store to pick up some new shirts for Bruce, as he has ruined at least 3 this week.

7:15 pm. Pull Thor out of the candy shop (though not before purchasing some Godiva chocolate for me and a dozen Milky Way bars for him.)

7:20 pm. Leave mall.

7:30 pm. Arrive back at tower.

7:35 pm. Check E-mail.

7:40 pm. Give Bruce new shirts, tell him to have Tony use his own shirt as a rag next time he spills acid in the lab. Tony argues that he shouldn't use his shirts because they're more expensive, to which I tell him to stop wearing his nice shirts in the lab.

7:50 pm. Watch as Tony's shirt catches fire due to forgotten Bunsen burner.

8:00 pm. Take shower and plot the best way to dismantle Dummy.

8:30 pm. Find Natasha, drink wine, eat chocolate and talk/rant about day.

9:15 pm. Check E-mail.

9:20 pm. Watch _The Wizard of Oz_ with Thor and Steve. (It's kind of nice to watch Steve be able to explain things to someone, like why the film went from black-and-white to color. Note to self: must find more films from his era. Disney, perhaps?)

10:40 pm. Check E-mail.

10:45 pm. Crawl into bed with Tony.

11:00 pm. Drift off and wish tomorrow were Saturday.

End

I hope you got a chuckle from that. I may also put up the "To-Do List" I wrote, which was so much fun and has so many cross-universe geeky references it hurts. Should I? Let me know in a review!


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